I think it is so difficult to go on vacation or take time away from a business and slide back in as if you never left. At least it is for me.
Today I want to talk about language, language you use with your kids. That language has a lot to do with the way kids turn out as adults. That language molds your children into their growing up lives. That language predicts how they will react with others when they are adults. Especially authority figures.
There are two types of language, REACTIVE LANGUAGE and PROACTIVE LANGUAGE.
I am sure you all have experienced REACTIVE LANGUAGE. Your 2 year old is playing happily at the shallow end of the pool, the next thing you know he has wandered over to the deep end and looks like he will jump in at any moment. OF COURSE YOU REACT and use REACTIVE LANGUAGE!!!!=:O
Another example is your 5 year old is in Pottery Barn with you and you walk past a kitchen setting, he grabs a fake pear and is about to take a mouthwatering bite. Who wants to take bets on the words you use, hushed so no one can hear you, to let him know that STOP,THAT IS NOT REAL!!!=:o
Those are two examples of times that you really do not have a choice, MOM, you react and use that reactive language.
But a more subtle example could be at home, when you are stressed, you have some bills due, you are trying to get your computer to boot up, it is having a “mind of its own day” and your teen asks if you will drive her to her friends house, (clearly within walking distance) and you just blow up. And that reaction happens to us all. Sometimes we let it go, sometimes we apologize. At any rate, we probably feel bad.
I did this a lot in my motherhood experience. As a matter of fact, I did it too much and it took me a long time to change that reactive self to a thinking, proactive approach. My daughter was already grown. I got it down really well with the grand-kids.
So I want to make a point here. If you notice that you are a “REACTIVE” LANGUAGE PARENT, you can change it. It takes courage, determination and conscientiousness. OH, I also wanted to say that your kids will probably turn out ok, it is a matter of how you feel about yourself that will determine whether you will want to work on changing it.
I plan on addressing this subject more in my next blogs and going into PROACTIVE LANGUAGE and what that looks like.
MOMS, we seem to always be striving to be better, to be a better mom, to be a better wife, to be a better housekeeper, to be a better hostess.
GRANDMA’S ADVICE: Slow down and smell that freshly washed cheek of your child, or the new perfume of your teen, or the sweat of your tween who just came home from football practice, or the swamp mud all over the trousers of your7 year old who holds out that frog to kiss. Those are the moments that pass so quickly that you wish they hadn’t.
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Find something you are grateful for this moment.
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What was it that you thought of right at that moment? Reply back, I would love to hear from you.
OH-PS–If you have problems with any age kid cleaning their rooms, check out my program, http://KidsClean.biz. You will be surprised and happy you did=:)
THanks for reading, Sally
